MY TRUTH – LESSONS I HAVE LEARNT THE HARD WAY
Life didn't always go the way I expected. I worked hard, chased dreams, lost health, love, and career. I burned out, almost gave up, and then slowly, step by step, I found myself again – through breath, through Kundalini yoga, through the lessons life kept whispering to me. These are the truths I learnt the hard way – and I share them with you because maybe, just maybe, they will save you some pain and help you connect with your own strength faster.
Be the ruler of your own world – inner and outer
🌿 Lesson 1: Inspire Rather Than Impress
For years I tried to impress people instead of truly connecting with them – in my work, in my relationships, in social settings. It was exhausting. I exaggerated, performed, polished stories to look better than they were.
Many of us, men and women, try to mask our lack of self-confidence by exaggerating stories from our lives. But the simple truth always resonates more deeply. When you stop "bubbling up" your experiences, you become more relatable, more authentic – and paradoxically, more inspiring.
Self-confidence cannot be built on pretending, it only comes from self-acceptance and self-love. It grows when you accept yourself, raw and imperfect, and love yourself anyway. When you stop performing, you start inspiring. And instead of wasting energy, you start gaining it.
🌿 Lesson 2: Do Not Assume, Ask & Speak Your Truth
How many times did I hurt myself with assumptions? "He must think this." "They probably meant that." It's poison. Assumptions are fake stories we tell ourselves. The truth is often much simpler.
We think we know what someone means, what they feel, or why they act the way they do. But most of the time, we are wrong. The solution is simple: ask. Ask kindly, ask bravely. Be sure. The worst that can happen is that you will confirm what you thought. The best that can happen is that you will prevent misunderstanding before it hurts. Clarity is healing.
It also works the other way– don't expect others to just 'know' how you feel. They don't. I used to say "I'm fine" when I wasn't. Especially in relationships. I denied my own truth and created silent wounds that grew. If you are upset and someone care enough to ask you "Are you okay?" – don't say "Yes" when you mean "No." Others take our words at face value – even though our energy and behaviour suggest otherwise. This silent dishonesty is like an internal bleeding. If something touches your heart, if something hurts – speak it out. Gently, without drama, but clearly. Do not attack, but do not hide. Honesty is not always easy, but dishonesty will silently kill love. Sharing truth makes your burden lighter – sometimes it even makes it disappear.
🌿 Lesson 3: Stick to Facts, Not Emotions
I used to try to solve problems while angry, desperate, crying. It never worked. Emotions are real, but they are waves – they pass. Facts remain. Now I breathe, I pause, I wait. Then I speak. A calm mind leads to solutions; an emotional mind leads to arguments. When emotions take over – whether anger, sadness, or disappointment – do not try to "solve" the problem right away. In that moment, you are not solving, you are reacting. Strong emotions can distort reality and lead to words you can never take back. Calm your mind, breathe, and then respond from clarity. Take a break. Breathe. Sleep on it. Wait an hour, a day, even a week. Come back when your emotions have settled, and then focus on the facts. This does not mean denying your feelings – it means respecting them enough to give them space without letting them rule your decisions.
🌿 Lesson 4: Do Not Suppress, Release
I carried pain, anger, grief inside for a long time. It poisoned me. Suppression is heavy and your body will pay the price. Expression is liberation. Suppressed feelings drain your life energy. Suppressed emotions do not disappear. They rot inside and poison your energy. Anger, sadness, grief – they need to be expressed in a healthy way. Release sets you free. Cry, write, scream into a pillow, dance it out, shake it out – but don't keep it inside. Release is healing.
🌿 Lesson 5: Talk Less, Think More
I learnt that I drained myself by talking too much, trying to be interesting, trying to prove my worth. But presence is more magnetic than endless words. Listen more than you speak. Give people space. A calm presence speaks louder than a thousand stories.
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Good reason. Chit-chat is fine, but don't cross the line into oversharing or overwhelming. If you notice you are talking much more than others, it is a red flag. Stop, breathe, listen. When you listen, you gain not only the trust of others but also energy for yourself. Words can drain, but silence and presence replenish. Listening not only makes you more likable, it also saves your precious energy.
🌿 Lesson 6: Freedom Is the Highest Value
I thought success and wealth would make me free. They didn't. They chained me. I realised true freedom is space, time, and the courage to choose your own path. The happiest people I met were not the wealthiest – they were the freest. For me, freedom became more valuable than anything I could own.
True freedom is not found in possessions. The more you own, the less free you become because every possession requires care, attention, and energy.
For me, freedom means knowing I don't have to chase more – because I already have enough. Happiness is not in wealth but in simplicity.
🌿 Lesson 7: Always look for bright side
The glass can be seen as half full or half empty – the value is the same, but the perspective changes everything. It's easy to criticise; it takes strength to find the bright side, even in the darkest moment.
Complaining leads nowhere. Gratitude and optimism move us forward. Every situation has two sides, like a coin. No one can force you to see the bright side – but if you learn to, you will find light and happiness in any circumstance.
🌿 Lesson 8: Things Will Not Always Go the Way You Want
Life rarely unfolds as planned. This is one of the hardest lessons. I wanted to be a director. I wanted to create films that change society. Instead I lost my health, my career, my great love – all at once and with it, my sense of mission. I was denied jobs, denied love, denied dreams. I reached a point when I wanted to leave this world. But then… breath brought me back. Kundalini practice brought me back.
Slowly, I learnt to accept what is. Step by step, I discovered new strength and new purpose I found a new mission – guiding others toward their inner peace.
I realised that life does not always give us what we want – but it always gives us what we need. Sometimes the collapse is the doorway.
🌿 Lesson 9: Be Grateful, Do Not Seek More
Gratitude is the antidote to scarcity. When you stop chasing more, you begin to appreciate what is already here.
We, as human beings, chase "more" – more success, more love, more recognition. But chasing leaves us empty. Gratitude fills the emptiness.
Gratitude is a practice. Every day I remind myself: What if tomorrow I only had what I was grateful for today? Gratitude shifts everything – lack into abundance, pain into lesson, loss into space for growth.
🌿 Lesson 10: Small Things Often Have Big Impact
It's not always the grand gestures that change our lives, but the little everyday choices and acts of kindness. Sometimes it's a smile from a stranger, a kind word, a gentle touch, a sunrise, or deep breath.
Small things shift the heart more than grand achievements. Never underestimate them. These small acts of presence can change the course of a day – or a life.
🌿 Lesson 11: Change Always Comes From the Heart
I wanted to fix others. I wanted to heal those I loved. The truth is we can only heal ourselves. Now I focus on healing myself, and through that, I inspire others. Real change cannot be forced, because true change is the one that starts deep in the heart.
Focus on healing yourself first – then your very presence becomes the inspiration for others to transform at their own pace. People around us may or may not change – but it will always be their choice, not our mission.
🌿 If these words resonate with you,I invite you to
- explore my world further – through in-person sessions or online workshops
- join me in person in Sri Lanka – amidst jungle and ocean – to reconnect with your essence through Kundalini Yoga
- simply keep following my words and breathing with me
Because your truth matters! Find your inner peace – and live your own truth